This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
