she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
