He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
