your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
