dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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