Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
