can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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