I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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