Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
