I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
