Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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