Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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