On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
