These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
