I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
