I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My feet surprised me
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