so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
