all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
