he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
