You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
