At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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