Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There's even glitter on my cock...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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