We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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