He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize