He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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