We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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