we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
