is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize