If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
