I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
