But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
