girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
