feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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