If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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