Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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