Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
bring money and cleavage
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
