She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
