Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
