Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
