you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
