I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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