So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She said her name was "party"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
