I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
