So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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