You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize