At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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