This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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