Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
