Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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