i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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