Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
