If that was your dad, he is hot
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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