the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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