so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize