i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
jump out the window naked night went bad
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