i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
