i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
