I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
