ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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