just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize