just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
