There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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