Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
