so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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