he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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