Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
