You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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