Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
