hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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