She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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