Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
