Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
